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Munster, Get Some! - Notes From The Sludgebucket [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Mr. Sludgebucket

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Munster, Get Some! [Jun. 1st, 2004|02:57 am]
Mr. Sludgebucket
[State 'O The Brain |Whimsical]
[Current Cacophony |Johnny Cash - Murder]

Man, I've wanted to get a hold of Lily Munster since I was a kid. She's hot, she can cook, and if she can put up with Herman and Grandpa's goofy shit, I'd be able to get away with murder. Hell, she'd probably even help me bury the body!

I'd be more than happy to kick Herman Munster's big dumb dead ass to get my mitts on Lily . . . aw, don't get uppity with me. Yeah, yeah, I know, Herman's NICE and a lovable guy and all that shit, but you know what? Herman's nice because he's too STUPID to be anything else! Big dumb ape.

I'd also like to get hold of Morticia Addams, but my lust for Morticia is more than tempered by my fear of one Gomez Addams. Frankly, I'm scared shitless of Gomez.

Y'see, I feel no fear at all towards Herman Munster, because all it takes to bring Herman down is miniscule intelligence and an aluminum baseball bat. But Gomez, Gomez is another story entirely. Some may put Gomez off as being an eccentric goof, but that guy's wily like a fox and smart as hell, and the eccentricity makes him all the more dangerous. In short, Gomez is an evil fuck.

As a matter of fact, he'd probably pretend he didn't know anything about me trying to lay the pipe to Morticia in the parlor, and every time I came over, he'd be playing ping-pong with Thing or nuking his train set with Uncle Fester, acting completely oblivious to everything. But just before I got it going with Morticia, Gomez would come galloping in with a friggin' fencing sword or something, kick my ass, cut off my ear, and then send me on my way.

You see, Gomez KNOWS his wife is hot, and he KNOWS guys are going to try to get at her goodies, and he makes a game out of it, waiting until just the right moment to totally ruin Morticia's would-be suitor's day. Shit, I'd rather play "catch the rusty knife" with Wednesday than tangle with Gomez.

So Morticia's out of the picture.

But Lily . . . HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: xinsignifikuntx
2004-06-01 01:27 am (UTC)
fuck, i'd like to have a menage a'tois with Lily Munster, Morticia Addams, and her lovely daughter. hahahahah like you wanted to hear that from your sister...as for Gomez....i'm a gawddamn heathen neanderthal slob---but i can still charm the ladies...he may be slick, wily and cunning, but has he dealt with an uncivilized animal like me? someone known to stab their brother's best friend with a letter opener? hmmm. I GET THE GOODIES! ALLL MINE!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
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[User Picture]From: mr_sludgebucket
2004-06-04 06:20 pm (UTC)
Just remember, Gomez hangs out with a severed hand and a guy who likes to be electrocuted for fun, and also has a butler who's a basically a reanimated corpse . . . he'd probably claim you as some sort of retarded cousin or something.
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[User Picture]From: xinsignifikuntx
2004-06-01 09:41 pm (UTC)
HEY YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MUNSTERS SHIRT YOU FUCK. THAT WAS REALLY HARD TO FIND. YOU ALWAYS RUIN ALL MY T-SHIRTS WHEN YOU "BORROW" THEM AND THEN I DON'T WANT THEM BACK. HEY DO YOU LIKE APPLES? PFFFFFFFFFT! HOW DO YOU LIKE THOSE APPLES? THAT WAS VERY SMELLY, HE SAYS HELLO! (INSERT PETER GRIFFIN'S LAUGH HERE)
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