|Character Analysis Through Video Games
||[Feb. 21st, 2004|05:02 pm]
|[||State 'O The Brain
|||||Children of Bodom - Hate Crew Death Roll||]|
You can learn a lot about a person by watching them play video games or, in this case, have just about everything you know about them neatly summed up. For example, I greatly enjoyed watching Joe play Vice City, and I never grew tired of the fact that all kinds of horrible things happened to him while he was playing, kind of like what happens to him in real life whenever he's going about his business. But during one gaming session, I was delighted to see that a situation in Vice City totally summarized Joe's approach to life and his attitude regarding most things. It would have been a very insightful moment if not for the fact that I already knew everything the game revealed . . . but I thought it was plenty funny nonetheless.
There's a big, BIG gun in the game, ironically called the mini-gun, which, along with the chainsaw and bazooka, is highly sought after by players, especially Joe, because weapons of mass destruction give him a woody. For those of you who don't know what a mini-gun is, go take a look at the scene in Terminator 2 where Arnold Schwarzenegger mows down a whole ton of cop cars while inside the Cyberdyne building. The big honkin' gun he uses is a mini-gun, and it's a pretty bitchin' piece of artillery.
So whenever Joe first started playing the game, he was bound and determined to get the mini-gun, and though it took him several days, he finally found it. He was delighted, to say the least, and when he picked it up, he was impressed that it was so big that your on-screen character actually had to lean over to hold onto it and couldn't run very fast while carrying. About ten seconds after first picking up the mini-gun, Joe quietly chuckled to himself and then calmly declared, "I have a HUGE penis." After that, he ran directly at a car stopped at a red light, stopped right next to it, and then opened up on the car on full-auto at point-blank range. Predictably, the car exploded real good, killing everybody around it, including Joe, who was actually genuinely surprised at what happened, and then immediately pissed that he'd died and lost the mini-gun.
I observed all this, snickered, and then told Joe, "Well, that pretty much says everything about you right there."
His response was, "Fuck you, bitch! I WANT MY FUCKING GUN BACK!"
Yup, that's Joe.